


can't keep my (hands to myself)

by sarcastic_fina



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Flirting, Undercover Missions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 02:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5810425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarcastic_fina/pseuds/sarcastic_fina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mixing a smitten Doctor Banner, a flirtatious Darcy, and an undercover mission might just be the recipe for good things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	can't keep my (hands to myself)

**Author's Note:**

> **polyvore** : [darcy](http://www.polyvore.com/darcy_oneshot_13/set?id=188750890)

"You don't have to do this," he said, for had to be the sixth time since it had been proposed.

Darcy arched an eyebrow at him. "You're gonna give me a complex, Doc." She reached up and fiddled with his crooked bow, making sure it was straight. Her lips twitched. "It's weird, seeing you like this…"

Bruce looked down at himself, at the three-piece suit that Tony had tailor-made for him, completely ignoring his protests. "What's wrong with it?" he wondered, shuffling his feet.

He felt uncomfortable in this setting; despite the fact that it was filled with scholars, scientists, people that would better understand his work, he felt like he'd been stuffed into a too-small outfit and shoved onto display. There were people staring, but he was fairly sure that had more to do with the fact that he'd become somewhat of a recluse, so to see him out and about was rare.

"Did I miss a button?" he wondered, smoothing his sweaty palms over his suit.

She laughed under her breath and shook her head. "No, it's just… You're not wrinkled like, _at all_ …" She grinned, reaching up to brush off his shoulder. "You're really rockin' the hot genius look."

Bruce felt a flush warm the back of his neck and ducked his eyes; a mistake, seeing as Darcy was wearing an attractive dress that hugged her snugly; it wasn't revealing, but the cut of it seemed to draw attention to her many curves. He reached up and scratched behind his ear as he tried to keep his eyes from lingering on her chest, but only ended up staring at the hollow of her throat.

She was wearing a thin necklace with a double-helix made of twisting gold; it'd been a gift from Tony the year before, saying that if she was going to be the resident scientist wrangler, she should have something to show her allegiance. His fingers twitched and before he knew what he was doing, he'd reached out to touch it, tracing the delicate chain with the tips of his fingers.

When he realized what he was doing, he paused, his fingers pressed flat against her upper chest. He didn't dare to look her in the eyes, feeling foolish and out of his depth; this was a mission. Darcy was _pretending_ to be his date so they could hobnob, feeling out a particular scientist. Since Bruce was one of the only Avenger's whose face wasn't known, at least not when it wasn't huge and green, SWORD had nominated him, rather than Tony, to try his hand at coaxing information out of the mad scientist they had in their sights.

Darcy had been Tony's suggestion; she would break the ice where Bruce had trouble playing nice with people. He'd gotten too used to hiding in corners, avoiding crowds, and he needed somebody to temper his anti-social tendencies. Darcy was the most social person outside of Tony, probably in the whole of SWORD. She was loud and attention-getting and since she'd completed the mandatory physical training, even if she _was_ only fetching coffee and making sure the absent-minded scientists were eating enough, she was cleared to go into the field with him.

Aside from the fact that Bruce didn't _want_ to be involved in the mission and preferred to leave all things Avengers up to his greener side, there was the fear over Darcy's safety that weighed on him. Not just from the evil scientist they were looking to engage, but because he was very much aware of The Other Guy when she was around. His pulse spiked when she stepped too close or even just when he heard her laugh; loud and full of life.

It had taken him awhile, and a whole lot of prodding from Tony, before he was able to admit that he had a crush on the quirky assistant, and now here he was on a pseudo-date with her. Wherein he'd started fondling her without permission; he could feel his whole face heating up at the mistake.

"And I thought green was your color…" Darcy stepped in close to him, her hands settling on his waist and pulling him so close that their hips were cradled together. "Red's looking pretty good on you too, Doc."

His eyes flicked up to her, full of surprise and confusion.

She smirked. "Hey, you stepped into my bubble first, I'm just returning the favor." She winked, sliding her hands up beneath the cover of his jacket, fingers flicking over the thin, light fabric of his shirt.

A shiver ran through him as his eyes dropped, more than a little aware of everywhere that she was touching. A trail of tingling heat was left behind as her fingers drew circles, growing in size.

"Besides, it looks good, right?" She shrugged. "We're hot for each other, why wouldn't we be touching?" She frowned. "Unless scientists aren't into PDA… Then again, I've seen Jane with Thor and she never stops his wandering hands, so…"

"I— This— Sorry." He shook his head, swallowing tightly. "The necklace— It— You—" He bit his lip, gathered his thoughts, and finally said, "I'm not good at this."

Her brows furrowed. "At what?"

" _This_. Physical contact, casual touching, putting on a show…" He shook his head. "I—It was an accident. I just— I got caught up looking at your necklace so I… I touched it."

"I'm not a museum; no red velvet ropes or alarms if you touch the merch," she assured, lips tilted. "Look, I'm not going to freak out… It's my neck. It's not like you shoved your hand down my dress." She shrugged. "I appreciate that you don't want to step on any boundaries, but we're good…" She looked around, slowly scanning the room. "If anything, it looks good… Like you don't really want to be here, you'd rather be at home, in bed, with your awesomely hot date… So this Doofenshmirtz guy won't think you're here to check out his cred, you've got better things to do."

"I'm pretty sure his name is Dr. Povenmire…" He raised an eyebrow. "Although, I think SWORD would be happy if Povenmire was as harmless as Doofenshmirtz is…" he admitted.

She grinned slowly. "What kind of _–inator_ do you think this guy would have?" She rubbed her thumbs against his hips. "Like the standard _evil_ -inator or maybe something with that cross species stuff Coulson said he was into…"

Bruce sighed, shaking his head. "I don't remember watching this many cartoons before you and Tony came into my life."

Darcy leaned into him, chuckling. "You're welcome."

"I'm not sure it's something to boast about."

She hummed, wrinkling her nose. "Cartoons are always good…" She slid a hand around and played with one of the buttons on his jacket. "There's too much fighting and inventing, that'll be around forever… But chittering platypuses…" Her brow wrinkled. "Platypi?" She frowned, shrugging. "Whatever, they're priceless."

He laughed. "I'll take your word for it."

"Good." She bit her lip and slid her hand up his chest slowly, flicking a finger over the silk tucked into his coat pocket. "Spotted Doofenshmirtz," she told him, never letting her expression change. "He's eyeing the salmon finger sandwiches." She frowned. "Not really a fan, but I can make an exception if it'll get us closer to our mark."

"Your dedication is admirable," he told her, eyebrow raised.

Darcy slid around from him, letting her hands linger before she moved to his side and slid an arm around his waist. "C'mon, if you're good, I won't feed you like those weird, cutesy couples…"

He pursed his lips at her. "As long as you don't do the airplane, I'll be able to respect you in the morning."

Her head fell back as she laughed, her hand pressed to her stomach.

He smiled in answer; there was something deeply satisfying about being the reason she was happy. Her cheeks were flushed and her expensively made up hair had come a little loose, letting a few tendrils fall against her face. She was beautiful. And again, Bruce was aware of just how much he shouldn't, but was, attracted to her.

The table Dr. Povenmire was standing near was filled with platters of food, all in different stages of emptiness. It was obvious certain foods just weren't up to par, noticeable by how overflowing they still were despite the benefit having been going on for nearly three hours.

"Don't touch those; they're stuffed mushrooms. I don't feel like rushing you to the hospital," Darcy said, slapping his hand as he reached distractedly for something while eyeing Povenmire sidelong.

He frowned, looking back at her. " _Ow_ ," he muttered.

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Baby."

Aside from Tony, she was probably the only person who didn't automatically fear his reaction to everything. It was probably just another reason why he had feelings for her. Darcy never looked at him like he was a monster. Occasionally it worried him that she didn't have even a healthy dose of fear of him, instead treating him like she would anyone else. But then, other times, he couldn't help but feel relieved that there was never that second-guessing suspicion in her eyes when she looked at him.

"The hospital would be better than this, anyway," he said, reminded of the character he was meant to be playing.

Darcy's lips curled at the corner as she turned toward him. "Hospital beds aren't made for what I'm planning for you tonight, Doc," she said, her voice a little huskier." Her fingers stretched out and brushed through his hair, circling his ear. "Keep it in my mind, huh?"

He wasn't sure he would ever forget the way her eyes fell to half-mast and she licked her lips, pressing herself up to his side as she left the suggestion of seeing her naked in his bed burrowing into his mind. Reaching up to tug at the suddenly tight collar of his shirt, he cleared his throat and cast his gaze down the line to Povenmire.

"Play nice," he told her.

"What's the reward if I do?" she wondered.

He raised an eyebrow at her, and while the words lingered at the tip of his tongue, he couldn't quite get them out.

Darcy's eyes sparked, however, and for a brief moment, he worried she could read his mind. "We'll talk terms later," she decided. "It'll be fun."

'Fun' was something he was definitely lacking, but not entirely sure he was capable of taking part in.

Darcy didn't seem the least bit worried, however. "Don't look so down, Doc. We're about to catch us a bad guy." Turning to him, she readjusted his bow tie and murmured, "Trust me, the payoff after will be worth it."

Much as Bruce's logical brain said not to get his hopes up, they were almost definitely in the stratosphere at this point. So he didn't complain as she folded their fingers together and led him down the table to begin a conversation with Povenmire about the buffet that would eventually lead to science talk and a would-be villain being handed over to authorities. And he definitely didn't complain later, when his hard work earned him the reward of relieving Darcy of everything she wore except that eye-catching necklace. He could get used to fieldwork if this was how they'd celebrate every time.

{ **end** }


End file.
